I find it interesting how cross (to put it mildly) I get ever time Kiwis mention my accent. I know it's more me than them, but I also know they probably say it to fewer white/darker people than me. It's the anomaly of my looks and voice that makes me a bit of an enigma, I guess. They always have to ask where I'm "really from". My mom???
The psychologist yesterday was very nice, very respectable, and if she didn't start my appointment late (but she did give me slightly over 60 minutes) and if she didn't blurt that dreaded comment, she might have been my new best friend.
I can tell you it wasn't my tooth. I love speaking to counselors and psychologist, and probably will enjoy psychiatrist given the chance, the thought gives me a natural high.
Which may be a way of saying I'm an enigma to myself, eh? But isn't anyone? Or is anyone? Anyway, today, it's just me and the various chattering other "me"s in my head.
I wonder if I could ask her why I feel this way about my accent, after I let her know I'm not talking about her in particular. Beyond it just being a symbol of my alienation, you know.
EDIT: I wrote something similar, (but more objective) a year ago, too.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
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5 complaints:
Hello! Just found you on blogger. You know, the nice thing about a blog is that there is no accent! We can all be somewhat anonymous and be heard for who we are and what we think without any preconceived labels based on looks or accent. Is that a picture of your handweaving in the profile? It's beautiful.
Hi, SS, yes, it is one of mine from 18 months ago.
The thing that grates me is that, unless you're deaf, of course you're going to "hear" my accent, and sometimes I feel like I'm running a one-woman hearing/comprehension test of Kiwis. I don't mind that it's heard, I don't mind that it's heavily Minnesotan, with hints of Kiwi; it makes me universally easy to understand, especially to international students with whom I did some work. It's the context and the manner in which the comment is made" call me paranoid, but it's definitely, "well, you are very different (meaning unorthodox/unexpected in a bad way), aren't you, and I had sppoted that before you explained yourself". It's never a compliment, unless you look blatantly (North) American.
The use of the word "different" carry a lot of negative connotations in New Zealand, though I don't know if they realize it. And then there are hierarchies of good/bad accents here. And I cringe at the thought of being reminded my oddity is blatantly noticeable for the rest of my years in New Zealand, which can be, you know, long...
Your point is totally valid, and I agree with you completely. Unless you (meaning I) try to stick out like a sore digit and explain everything, like you (meaning I) do.
You should see how Americanized some Kiwi bloggers become in a very short time, not to mention TV, film, Youtube and Microsoft dictionary's influences in the last decade. As well, how quickly the tourism industry have accommodated the North American visitors, too.
Ah Meg, we all have our little hangups from a young age. You just have to develop a supreme confidence in yourself and be proud that you look and sound different. Why would you want to look like all us pasty faced white people. People notice differences because in their atavistic past the word for stranger was enemy. "If he looks different and sounds different, he will probably attack me, so better attack first".
You won't ever change them, so jut be glad that part of what makes you the person that we love is your looks (and remember I have a picture of you and Ben and I can tell the difference)your accent, which I have never been lucky enough to hear yet, and all the other things that make up what is Meg.
I could give you a few retorts to throw back, but most of what you are getting is innocent in nature. Just smile and tell them that you sound different because you are unique. Be proud of who you are and what you have done.
Remember Ben has very good instincts and he not only picked you ( or at least you have convinced him he did) but still is with you. That is recommendation enough for anyone.
Bill
Yeah, but it's kind of depressing thinking I'm going to be asked/told this fore the rest of my days in Kiwiland, Bill. Ugh...
Well, then you have to get a tee shirt that says:
DON'T ASK!!!
Bill
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